BAD FAN FICTIONS- And how to spot and avoid them
by This-Story-Is-gonna-be-AWESOME
Summary: Ever need a guide how to avoid bad stories, spot bad stories, make GOOD, not bad, stories? Then get some advice from a really good author! (Which is NOT me, so go find someone else!) Just kidding, I may not be a good writer but I know a lot about bad stories, so why not read this guide? Read on and become knowledgeabl in the crap that lives on and learn what's OK!
1. Bad fanfics- About them

"Sweet and sour baby Jesus! What foul concoction of goat piss, bad dubstep, llama spit, and liquefied raw meat am I reading? For god's sake, whoever wrote this piece of Cow testicles is truly the most evil person in all of history! Who cares about Judas or Hitler or Gail Berman, they're as good as Nelson Mandela compared to this lowly scumbag piece of human _**SHIT**_!" I scream, slamming my laptop into the wall.

I shriek and kick and cry and hate, _hate, __**hate, HATE**_ the person who wrote the story. I am the author, I am This-Story-Is-gonna-be-AWESOME, and I know I cannot be the only person who has been in this sad, sad situation. What situation you ask? The same problem that got Paul Walker's death more publicity than Nelson Mandela's death, the same problem that has Green olives in glass jars and black olives in cans, the same problem that's got white boys rapping and fat boys acting: Yes, it is the same problem every reader on fears and some of you may even be infected, yes _infected_ with it! This problem is-

_**BAD WRITING**_

Don't try and tell me you haven't read a badly written story. It's not possible. It just can't be! Everyone one on here reads, or even writes a bad story. Why, I read one today. I cried on the inside, held a gun to my head and only put it down when I saw a holy image of Percy shimmering in the window. He said: "It's okay author. Don't punish yourself for this, educate the citizens of . You have a few regular readers, spread the word of good writing! Even if you do suck at writing yourself, you still do know some good writing tips! Now I must go, my demigod, farewell for now. Time to fuck some Nymphs!"

And now I am here to talk about bad writing. There are many types of bad writing, but I will just highlight a few I've seen here.

_**The Cra Sex filled insane WTF are you doing stories- AKA Lemons, smuts, and any other sub types-**_

Okay, let me just say that Lemons, smuts, and any other sex stories can be wonderful, insanely funny or nice to read, professionally written and just be really good WHEN written by the right person. Otherwise they can be… Well, let me just give you an example down here…

Percy, Leo said, take my dick in ur mouth. Okay Leo, yo got it. Percy put Leo big fat big dick inside his mouth and begun to rapiudly suck on it. after a while leo started to scream in happiness and his cum exploded all over percys face. Percy smiled. Now me he said. Get down on teh ground and then imma going to insert my member inside of youu okay? Now prepare for impact bitch leo said as he shoved his 11 inch inside of percys butt. AHHHHH Percy shrerikd as leo impaled him like that perce yes yes I do put it back in

_**(Okay, let's end that there!)**_

Okay, I'm going to stop the example there before your eyes fall out of their sockets and you drown in your own tears from reading that.

Tell me if you want me to make tips and make more examples of crappy types of writing so you know how to avoid stories like that and to improve your writing!

Sincerely,

The extremely fucked up, scarred, demented and peverted author,

This-Story-Is-gonna-be-AWESOME


	2. Bad lemons and smut- About them

_**Author note- **_ Okay, okay everyone clap for _Princess of Flames _for making a really good point.

…

I SAID CLAP! *Whips small pathetic people. People begin to clap. Queue second scene.*

XD Okay, so _Princess of Flames_ made a really good point against me as I was simply stating what I hated and how bad I hated it and showing you guys and girls _how_ to hate it, and not making good writing tips. I'm sorry about that, I really am. I was just venting out my anger about the Percy X Leo fanfiction I read earlier in the day and decided it was the last one I'd read before telling some people about it. Also, I needed to upload _something_, I hadn't uploaded a new chappie for my ToD story (Go read it!) or my Percy and the Aphrodite Girls (Go read it to! But the ToD is better in my opinion!)

So I am going to show you guys another **bad** genre of _**bad**_ stuff in _**BAD **_fanfictions WHILST giving you tips on how to make any bad descriptions good if you're writing a story! Okay, let's start. Also, there's an example of a Lemony and smutty fanfic in this, so if you're young don't read on. I warned you. (:I

There are good descriptions, goodly _written_ descriptions but are just so bad and weird and screwed up that it makes you want to puke up in your mouth, and the just plain out bad descriptions. I'm pretty sure I've read and written them all, and probably same to you guys/girls too. So here's some descriptions and examples of them and *cough cough _Princess of Flames _this is for you cough cough * how to write better descriptions! I'm not going to make an example of a good lemon/smut since we're here to talk about BAD ones.

Example 1- The goodly written but weird and fucked up and WTF am I reading description-

Sweet Jesus he fucking needed it _now_. He wants the pudding to take him and make him it's bitch. He wants it sliding over his skin and slithering into his ass, cradling his cock in cold, creamy, chocolate goodness, between his fingers and making his nipples harden. He stared the pudding cup down in it's tracks and with one quick impalement, his rock hard cock was plunged into the chocolaty depths of the DD sized pudding cup, making love with it. He squeezed the cup with his callous hands around his member, his crotchular region tightening up in ecstasy as it squished around his dick. He moaned and squeezed harder and then pulled the cup off and began to rapidly pump his cock, pudding being flung around like mad. He gasped and his head hung limp while his dick pulsed and finally climaxed, with the hot white sticky fluid mixing with the pudding to make a strange but delicious concoction. He wiped his hand over his crotch while the cum dribbled down the tip of his cock and his legs and he licked his hand, smiling.

Okay, you're probably wondering what in God's name you just read. It was well written right? It had really good (Or just decent) descriptions, right? Good word choice and variety, and pretty nice writing in general, but why wasn't it enjoyable and instead disturbing and screwed up? It's because the writer forgot some things- These are some things you need to remember when writing the descriptions- (Not how to write descriptions, we'll get to that another time but things to remember whilst writing them)

Remember what you're writing about. You can't start writing a smut lemon about 2 people having sex and it suddenly transition to a guy fucking a puddin' cup. No. Just no.

Think about what you're writing and how people will think of it. I write Percy Jackson fanfics because I like PJO, other people like it, and I write PJO lemon smut attempts because people like that kind of stuff. But people fucking a pudding cup? I don't think that that has a very large fanbase…

When writing descriptions of really anything happening, you should probably see it happen so you know what to write. Now, ummm, knowing how to write good smut/lemon descriptions and using my 3rd tip would mean you have to have sex soooooooo… Up all Night To Get Lucky? XD Well this is pretty nasty to say but maybe read a hand job lemon and get some 1st hand experience since that's the closest to sex other than sex. Yeah I'm being creepy and nasty and telling my readers to fap. Forget this tip. Forget everything about the 3rd tip. There is no 3rd tip. Just skip to the 4th tip and act like you never read this.

And the final tip for this chappie is this- Make sure your descriptions are realistic. Since we're talking about mostly smut descriptions, sure, go ahead and give Percy a 9 inch. Sure, make Silena able to swallow _all _of his cum. But really, don't make Leo's dick a foot long and don't make people do impossible feats of sex and MAKE sure it is somewhat realistic!


	3. How to SPOT & AVOID bad fanfics!

"NOOOOOO! BOARD UP THE WINDOWS! LOCK THE DOORS! THE FANS ARE REVOLTING!" I screamed as I ran rampant around my house, grabbing wood planks and nails. My friend stood across from me, giving me the dirty and disapproving look.

"Oh my god! They're evolving! They've developed brains and they're now asking questions like 'Hey, if the title is _BAD FANFICTIONS- And how to spot and avoid them_, then why haven't you told us how to spot and avoid them?!' Like really, what kind of question is that? It's a question some one with a brain would ask which means that those peasants are developing brains!" I shrieked.

"Good god author… If you weren't an arrogant jerk who thinks that everyone is a lower class peasant and that you're a superior being (Which I can assure you, _YOU'RE NOT_) you'd realize that all you're readers are intelligent people with feelings who just want to get what they're reading for. I mean seriously, you've told them EVERYTHING _other_ than what they came here for- To learn how to spot and avoid bad fanfictions." My friend promptly told me.

"Oh. Hmmmm… Kay. Imma' go think for a bit." I said.

"Whatever you say.." My friend mutters.

"AND I'M BACK!" I announced, jumping into the room.

"I-B-but you didn't even LEAVE." He stutters.

"Shuddup, I gotta go update my story now!" I said, pushing him away by the face.

And then I opened up Microsoft Word and began to make a new chappie for my _BAD FANFICTIONS- And how to spot and avoid them_

Author note-

._. Yeah, so about that title… IT'S A BAD REPRESENTATION OF THIS GUIDE. Yeah, so when I made this "Story", I just wanted to make a guide for fanfictioners (A word I just made up) to make better stories, some story writing techniques, and how to find bad stories and realize that they're bad before reading them so you can spare your brain cells. The first chappie was me just saying how bad fanfics can be and the 2nd one was the 1st to actually give some tips and stuff but this one I will give tips AND some tips on how to _**SPOT**_ and _**AVOID **_bad fanfictions! Okay, first some good tips on writing.

Okay, so here's a tip for people who are writing just any general story and are having trouble for the plot-

Think of the general story of your… Story. Are Percy and friends playing ToD and you're out of ideas for truths and or dares? Then read some other ToD fics *cough cough READ MY ToD STORY cough cough* to get some inspiration for truths and dares.

If you're trying to think of something sensible to happen next in a story, think of what has already happened. If it's a quest story, would it _really_ make sense to suddenly burst into a lemon the next chappie? NO, it would _not._ So don't do it! If it's a quest fanfic, you don't put a bunch of sex in it! Well, unless there's a ongoing and long going romance between 2 characters and they're old and the fanfic is rated M and…. Yah, no lemons in quest fanfics. So basically, if the story you're making is one type of story like a fun goofy story, don't suddenly make it M and put inappropriate stuff in it. If in the story the main plot is the characters are trying to open a secret door filled with magical crap, don't make the next chappie where they're all visiting a beach. It wouldn't make sense. Or if the main plot is that Percy and the guys are trying to give Travis dating advice in Chapter 1 and chapter 2 everyone is going to NYC to get Lady GaGa's autograph. The 2 things have nothing in common, so why would they be in the same story? If you're trying to think of something for the next chapter in a story, think of what's already happened. So in Chapter 1, Percy and friends are giving Travis dating advice. Chapter 2 Travis asks Katie out. Chapter 3 is the date. See? Those events make sense when together. Make sure the chapters flow smoothly and make sense that those events have things in common and would happen together.

So if you're having trouble making a plot, just reread the PJO or HOO books to get some inspiration. Especially the HOO if you're writing a romantic/lemon/ToD story. Say you need some ideas for a prophecy, then read some scenes with the Oracle in it. If you don't know what a quest should be, then read the books in general. The books are all about quests and encounters so they'd give you a pretty good idea on what challenges to make the characters encounter. Also, if you're having trouble making the characters react and act normally, read the books to study and generally know their reactions and behavior to most situations and times. Sadly for me, there's no point in the books where Percy is a sex slave, so I have to wing my stories… I:P

Okay, so those are some things I do when I'm writing fanfictions to focus better and make better stories.

And now, _finally_, as the title says, _BAD FAN FICTIONS- And how to spot and avoid them_

I shall finally tell you how to spot and avoid them! :D Okay, now please don't kill me…

Okay, this is kind of contradicting the "Don't judge a book by it's cover" but I have found it helpful and it's worked before so… Well, basically, check the user's picture and then see if it's the default new one. If it is, then set off the Yellow light. (Fictional thing that I made up. If you see a yellow light in your eye constantly, go to the hospital because you likely have a medical condition!) Then read the title and the description. If the title is something random, crazy, or is misspelled, then you should be cautious. If it's strange, stupid, or does not make sense, then you should probably not read it. NOW LET ME JUST SAY- Well, never not read a fanfiction just because it looks crappy. People sometimes put a lot of work into their first story. I know _**I **_did. All fan fictions deserve a chance, but sometimes you just really don't feel like reading another bad story, then just use this tip. So since this paragraph was kinda jumbled and hard to read, I'll just make a list.

Things that signify a bad story-

A default user picture, meaning they're new.

A stupid and or weird story title.

A stupid, strange, bad, or undecipherable description that you have no idea what it means.

The description doesn't have good grammar, spelling, or punctuation. (I don't mean to be a grammar nazi, but it probably means that reading the story will be a living hell since it'll probably be jumbled and hard to read)

And if the description and title seem more inappropriate and mismatched with the rating then they should be like a title that says "The sex adventures of Percy Jackson!" rated k+ for graphic smut and lemons and lots of sex! Yeah. No.

So those are some ways I use to spot and attempt to avoid bad fan fictions. Sorry it took 3 chappies to get this into my story and I'm guessing from now on this will just be a fanfiction guide with useful tips on how to make your stories better and some other things that will be useful to know while browsing !

Please review, tell what you might want to know next, and READ MY TRUTH OR DARE STORY!

Sincerely,

_**This-Story-Is-gonna-be-AWESOME**_


	4. Fan Fictions- KISSING SCENES (:3

"**GOD DAMNIT! **I'm _NEVER_ going to get x-ray vision!" I cry in frustration. The pretty girl sitting in front of me looks back at me with her eyes wide open.

"I-um, I wanted to see through the wall. Not through you bra." I desperately try to explain.

*_Insert bitch slap*_

"Ugh, I'm gonna go home and play some flappy bird…" I mutter to myself in the hallway, rubbing my cheek.

"Hey macguffin of a friend." I say as I walk into my house.

"Hey author. When was the last time you wrote a fanfic anyway?" Macguffin friend asks.

"I- OH $H!T!" I scream. Because god _and_my readers know I haven't in 5evr.

_**Author's note- **_Sup readerrrrrrs! It's me, the irresponsible, lonely, crazy, perverted, dumb, fugly, procrastinating author! :D And I'm back from my short hiatus of not writing stories due to

Flappy Bird

Girls

Food

More girls

More food

And getting Beyotch slapped. (Not for trying to develop x-ray vision, mind you)

Sorry about me not doing the weekly tutorial/guide/whatever the heck this is. I put it off for a week, which grew to 2, then to 3, and so on and so forth and so have you. SO I'M BACK, MEASLY PEASANTS!

"Author, shuddup!"

Sorry Macguffin Friend… Anyway, I'm back and I wrote another (short) chappie for ToD story, READ IT, and now I guess I'll write another chappie/guide/tutorial whatever for this. Here we go!

_**KISSING SCENES**_

And all that jazz~

Ok, so let me just say- I rarely do kissing scenes and when I do it's mostly like-

_And then they like kissed and their tongues were all like "mulalaualalauhghaouhg" and then Percy was like "umm bby u sexy 3" and annabeth took her bra off and they made out and she was like "oh yah bby u do dat like dat" and their tongues wrestled like wrestlers like wrestling for the championshop title of wrestling tonguz and stuff_

I'm being totally honest. I'm not good at kissing scenes, but since I already wrote that horrific example, I feel compelled to explain kissing scenes. So this'll be more like writer to writer and not like Almighty Lord to Peasant like my jokes before.

**Use any past experiences for the scenes.** The majority of people on seem to be teenagers and young adults and I'd guess a lot of you people have been kissed. So use that experience. What did it feel like? What happened? Use those feeling that you felt to inspire the description in your story. I've never been kissed since I'm young, so my kissing scenes are from scratch so that's why they're probably bad : /

**What type of kiss is happening?** Is it a normal kiss? Is it a French Kiss? Is it that kiss like from that Asian video where they slip that egg yoke in between each other's mouths for like 5 minutes? I'm not sure either. Whenever there's a French kiss in a fanfic, I _always_ see the phrase "Our tongues battled for dominance." Like every single time. Use that, or similar phrases to spice yo fanfic up like Bobby effing Flay :3

**Use details, but not too much**. If you have a paragraph describing how someone's biting another's lip erotically, you know you've gone 5,000 Shades of Gray and beyond. Shorten it! A sentence per action should do.

**Don't be afraid to let your characters get pretty rowdy over there! **Don't limit the action to just kissing. Ok, I'm not suggesting $e# in a kissing scene, but maybe add something else, like the characters embracing each other, or hands in each other's pockets, or fondling one's crotch with a cheese shredder, I don't know, whatever floats your boat of kinkiness! Adding a little something extra can help, and don't let the rating dictate you. If your story is Rated M+, honestly, anything could happen with that kiss.

**If you're having trouble with details and how to write, **I _think_ I cover it in a previous chappie. I'm not sure if I do, but just check. If I don't, tell me in a review.

Honestly, I'm pretty sure that's all I could think of. Sorry if it's not good, it's just like I said. _Not_ good with kissing scenes. Anwayzzz, READ MY TRUTH OR DARE STORY, Review and tell me what to put next, and follow and favorite me and the story! If I'm not too busy trying to develop X-Ray vision to look at my crush, I'll write another chapter/guide/tutorial, whatever the hell this is! Thanks for reading, and enjoy your day! :D

Sincerely, with love, snuggles, death and destruction,

_**THIS-STORY-IS-GOING-TO-BE-AWESOME**_


	5. Flappy Bird fics- THE RAUNCHINESS OF IT!

_As flappy bird flapped over to the pipe, he thought of something malicious…_

"_Hey pipe, wanna FAP with me?" Flappy said, as he slipped his cock out._

"_NO! NOT THE FAPPING!" The pipe screamed in terror._

"_Too late… Hehehehehehe…." Flappy Bird chuckled as the raunchiness began…_

XD ok, ok, don't kill me new chappie soon


	6. Bad Original Characters!

_**(If you haven't read this tutorial guide thingy whatever, please read the previous chapters as the beginning will make NO friggin sense. Also please read my Truth or Dare story, you will find it on my profile. It is my best story by far. Thank you.)**_

"Author, what the hell are you doing? Macguffin friend asked the lump sitting in the swivel chair, staring at , fanfiction, and ladies online. Wait. That's not a lump! That's the beloved (hated) creator of everything awesome (-ly stupid)! It's the author!

"W-what?" Author managed to stutter out while choking on a mixture of nilla wafers and fruit snacks. Also some KFC. Just think of any food, whatever floats ya boat.

"I'm gorging all my worries and troubles away. I never developed x-ray vision, the girl I like thinks I'm dumb, someone knows my age, and no one reviewed my newest chappie of _Percy and the Aphrodite Girls_!" Author sobbed through the dense wall of junk food clogging the entry way to his mouth. Man, this guy makes me sad just _looking_ at him.

"Author! That's no excuse to be sitting there, eating food, while your readers wait for new chapters of your stories!" Macguffin friend yelled, slapping the chicken tenders out of Author's grubby and greasy hands.

"H-hey dood, I was eatin' those…" Author half grumbled, half snored. "An' besides, what readers?"

"The ones that left reviews. _Duh_." 

"Someone left a review? Then my existence has a purpose! I must write a new chappie! I must update my stories! _I MUST WRITE FANFICTIONS!_"

And Author did just that. Right after he finished his chicken tenders.

Now do you get how much reviews mean to me? :I They mean a lot. I mean a lot. I've been writing a new round of Truth or Dare for my Truth or Dare story, go read that now please! Plus a closer look at the guidelines says I shouldn't even be doing this or something like that, so I've been paranoid about lyfe, and what is lyfe cause the Gods know I don't. Anyway, I'll stop being stupid about lyfe and start with the actual tutorial thingy whatever this is anymore…

_**Today's (Doomed) topic- **__Original Characters! *DUN DUN DUUUUUUN* *Cue scary organ music*_

Emagherd! Original characters! More like effing unoriginal characters, my gods. Haven't you ever read a fanfiction (mine) and seen a horrible, atrocious, just really shizzy OC? (mine) I know I have! And while it's not like mine are better, I think I do know how to spot one and how to make a good one and what to NOT make yours.

Question- _Why are OC's made? _I'm not entirely sure, but I've got some ideas. Ever think of a super cool character, and you wanna put it in with all your favorite characters in a story? Bam. OC.

What about when you're out of characters in a story and you need another, or the characters in the series you're making a fanfic of don't suite the needs of your fanfiction? Bam. OC.

There's more ways of why OC's are created, but I think it'd be a bit of a waste to dwell on why they're created and instead let's focus more _about_ them.

_Qualities of a bad OC and making them- _So I may not be a big help in this part because I've never really made a good OC, but I'll try my best.

So by far the biggest flaw OC's have are being Mary Sues and Gary Stus. If you don't know what a Mary Sue is, look it up. It's super important to knowing how to spot and to know how to make your OC not a Mary Sue. Or Gary Stu for guys. If you just feel to lazy to find out what it is, or you can't find it, I'll try my best to summarize it.

A Mary Sue is basically an OP OC. They are the best, they are the most powerful, they are the chosen one, they are the hero, they have the most darkest, twisted, crazy, dramatic backstory. They are the everything. They have super powers, they control the universe, they can summon any weapon, they are magicians, they have the force, they are a demigod but a god because they're just that awesome, they are just the _awesome_ of the story. AND THEY STINK.

Basically, a Mary Sue is when a character is unbeatable. They have everything. They have all these cool powers, traits, names, perfect appearance, perfectly sucky back story. All the girls (or guys) want him. All the guys (or girls) wanna be him. They're the most popular character in the story. It's like they're a demigod but a god and they have crazy powers of EVERYTHING and they have a magical bag where you can take any weapon out of it, and they have magic powers, and super powers, and they can control every element of the earth, and they have the force, and they look super cool and sexy and stuff, and they're name is _Drako Inferno _or something far more campy than that. I've seen worse names. Far worse names.

If you still haven't caught my drift, Mary Sues are basically the most flawless, powerful, over done, unstoppable, too likeable, and too good at everything to be actually a good character. It just sucks to read them. They win at _everything_, always being awesome. They're just a nuisance and frankly horrible. It's pretty easy to spot them if you can identify someone who is just winning at everything.

Your OC's can win at everything, have cool powers, and be attractive and popular ALL without being a Mary Sue! 'Cept it's pretty damn hard. I would guess there's an advanced mathematic formula to the perfect character locked in a vault somewhere, and unfortunately I don't have it. But I think I _do_ know some things.

To make an awesome character as described above in 15 minutes or less at a cheap price, please refer to the topic paragraph and instructions below.

Ok, so just to clarify, there have been some really kick ass book characters that are awesome, popular, attractive, heroic, have cool weapons, friends, and everything else WHILE not being Mary Sues. Percy Jackson, Harry Potter, Katniss Everdeen just to name a few. But what do these and many other cool characters have that Mary Sues have? Serious flaws. Percy is too loyal to everyone and sometimes dumb. Harry Potter can rage sometimes and act without thinking. Katniss kind of hates everyone and everything. Most of them have tragic back stories that are not too overkill and overly done. They also don't win at everything all the time. Just a lot. Mary Sues ALWAYS win.

Also, bad OC's and Mary Sues tend to have dumb names, overly attractive, crazy powers of everything, super smart, over confidence, crazy luck, and everything else that'd make you awesome. While Percy and other cool characters have some of these, your OC can have some to. But I mean _some_, not all. All would make your character just bad and readers _will_ notice.

I'd love to shed more light on the mysterious formula to make awesome characters, but due to my sheer stupidity on writing and lyfe, I can't. Thanks for reading, hope this helped, and don't go reporting this story because according to some guidelines I'm not sure I'm supposed to be putting this here (:I So yeah.

With lots of love, giggles, death and destruction,

_**This-Story-Is-gonna-be-AWESOME**_

;3


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